Where My Negative Body Issues Stem From?

So, I wish I had a clear cut answer, but at this point I can only speculate. It’s easy to speculate because I know I’m not the only one affected by some of the things I’m going to talk about. Negative body issues affect everyone, though most of the focus is on those that affect women.

I was a skinny kid and although I was skinny I knew that gaining weight was something I should avoid. I didn’t obsess over it as a kid too much, but it was still something I thought about infrequently and had in the back of my mind especially since one of my friends was on diets or in after school activities, all in an effort to not gain weight, but ideally to lose weight. 

As I got older and started going through that dreaded puberty, I started noticing my body, though still not my weight. I mainly noticed I was flat chested. My friends noticed I was flat chested and teased me for it. I wanted a bigger chest. Not too big though because middle school is still brutal and girls got teased for having too big of a chest. My small chest continued to be my biggest point of insecurity until I got to high school. 

High school is when I think I truly became conscious of my physical look overall and of course it involved a boy. I don’t want to go into too much detail because that can be a whole other blog post on its own, but looking at my life, I notice that the hatred and negativity truly entered my life after that boy. I hate to say that because a boy? Come on, now! I also know I have to say that because I’m not alone in that regard. 

Of course, acting doesn’t help. Well, the acting industry doesn’t help. So much of it is based on looks that it doesn’t help any.

I’m trying to combat this by not commenting on people’s looks at all. I don’t know people’s personal journeys, but as long as they’re doing things on their own terms I’m cool with it. I can dig into this so much more, but this is all I have to say for now.

Lluvia